Post by TheLostGamer on Jul 7, 2005 5:57:00 GMT 1
I know they're making a movie out of the DaVinci Code, so I thought I'd beat them to it by writing my own script. It's easy when you don't know anything about the book!
Scene: Leonardo DaVinci's House
Leonardo DaVinci is painting the Mona Lisa, while Mona is there, posing.
Mona Lisa: Are you sure this will be the most famous painting ever?
Leonardo DaVinci: Of course it will! I'm Leonardo DaVinci!
Leonardo DeCaprio: (coming in) And I'm Leo DeCaprio!
Leonardo DaVinci: (screams and jumps out a window)
Leonardo DeCaprio: Why does that always happen whenever I introduce myself?!
Mona Lisa: (running to the window and looking out) Oh my God! I think you just killed my darling Lennie!
Leonardo DeCaprio: I didn't kill him! It was obviously suicide!
A detective comes in.
Detective: Police! I am here to investigate the death of Leonardo Da Vinci! Who are you two? Are you perhaps the murderers?
Leonardo DeCaprio: I'm Leonardo DeCaprio, and I swear that I did not kill Leonardo Da Vinci!
Detective: Fine, but who are you, my beautiful Italian maiden?
Mona Lisa: Mona.
Detective: Ooooh! Oooooh! Oooooooooooooh!!!
Everyone stares at Detective.
Detective: Oh, wait, your name is Mona. I thought you were asking me to "moan-a".
Mona Lisa: Now that I know what your moaning sounds like, I'd have to ask you to "moan-a less-a".
Everyone: (laughs)
Detective: Ah, the puns based off Italian accents are surely the best! But enough jokes, I am here to investigate! So Mr. Da Vinci is dead, yes?
Mona Lisa: Yes.
Detective: Hey, this means we can read his diary without getting caught!
Leonardo DeCaprio: Cool!
Mona Lisa: Ooo, see if there's anything about me written in them!
Detective: I will! (picks up a diary) Hey, I can't read this.
Mona Lisa: What?
Detective: Look at this. He didn't write his diary normally.
Leonardo DeCaprio: It looks like it's some sort of code!
Detective: That's what it is, all right! But what kind of code is it? Can we break it? That's the important thing!
Everyone: Hmmmm...
They all sit down and ponder the mysterious Da Vinci Code. After two hours, someone figures it out.
Mona Lisa: Hey, wait a second! I think I've got it! He wrote everything backwards!
Detective: You broke the code!
There are high fives all around.
THE END
Scene: Leonardo DaVinci's House
Leonardo DaVinci is painting the Mona Lisa, while Mona is there, posing.
Mona Lisa: Are you sure this will be the most famous painting ever?
Leonardo DaVinci: Of course it will! I'm Leonardo DaVinci!
Leonardo DeCaprio: (coming in) And I'm Leo DeCaprio!
Leonardo DaVinci: (screams and jumps out a window)
Leonardo DeCaprio: Why does that always happen whenever I introduce myself?!
Mona Lisa: (running to the window and looking out) Oh my God! I think you just killed my darling Lennie!
Leonardo DeCaprio: I didn't kill him! It was obviously suicide!
A detective comes in.
Detective: Police! I am here to investigate the death of Leonardo Da Vinci! Who are you two? Are you perhaps the murderers?
Leonardo DeCaprio: I'm Leonardo DeCaprio, and I swear that I did not kill Leonardo Da Vinci!
Detective: Fine, but who are you, my beautiful Italian maiden?
Mona Lisa: Mona.
Detective: Ooooh! Oooooh! Oooooooooooooh!!!
Everyone stares at Detective.
Detective: Oh, wait, your name is Mona. I thought you were asking me to "moan-a".
Mona Lisa: Now that I know what your moaning sounds like, I'd have to ask you to "moan-a less-a".
Everyone: (laughs)
Detective: Ah, the puns based off Italian accents are surely the best! But enough jokes, I am here to investigate! So Mr. Da Vinci is dead, yes?
Mona Lisa: Yes.
Detective: Hey, this means we can read his diary without getting caught!
Leonardo DeCaprio: Cool!
Mona Lisa: Ooo, see if there's anything about me written in them!
Detective: I will! (picks up a diary) Hey, I can't read this.
Mona Lisa: What?
Detective: Look at this. He didn't write his diary normally.
Leonardo DeCaprio: It looks like it's some sort of code!
Detective: That's what it is, all right! But what kind of code is it? Can we break it? That's the important thing!
Everyone: Hmmmm...
They all sit down and ponder the mysterious Da Vinci Code. After two hours, someone figures it out.
Mona Lisa: Hey, wait a second! I think I've got it! He wrote everything backwards!
Detective: You broke the code!
There are high fives all around.
THE END