Things the Characters of CIMA would Never Say

[AgentBlueMajesty]

I suppose this is the right board for this...
Well, the title says it all, so let's get started.

Yurald: I'm sick of being a pacifist old man! Jean, gimmie one of them scalpels! *beats up a CIMA*

Diana: I love you, Rick! You're so manly! ;D

Rick: Ha! You CIMA don't scare me! I'll blow all of your ***'s to bits with my amazing pink fire!

Vanrose: Whatever you say, Ark!

Doug: I don't care what you kids do. Just keep off my lawn!

[TheLostGamer]

Shelley: Vanrose, I'm leaving you for Rick. He looks so hot with that hat!

Ivy: Ark, this is your fault. You never paid any attention in class!
Ark: No, it's your fault! I never paid attention in class because I was busy fantasizing about you!

Esswood: Let me explain what the Base is.

Pike: You know, you guys worked so hard to get to this final dungeon...I'm gonna be nice and just let you go through.

Vanrose: Hey, has everyone seen my Richard Nixon impression?

Ivy: !
Ark: What the - what kind of teleport trap is this?
Ivy: It didn't teleport all of you; all it did was teleport your pants!
Ark: Ah, I see. Ah...this feels so much better.
Philis: I agree!

Sawma: You know, sometimes I have problems with low self-esteem.

Falcken: A train?! That's my ultimate battle form?! A Falcken' train?! What the hell is that?!

Doug: Hey, it doesn't matter if you killed my daughter! That was like 20 years ago! Stop living in the past, man!

Genox: I think I'll quit this dungeon designing business and follow my dream: becoming a seamstress!

Rooda Youth: Welcome to Chicago!

Telmia: (anything interesting)

Philis: Ivy, you back off of Ark! He is my man!

Halley: You know, Ark, you're not really that great.

Ark: Screw protecting everybody. I'm getting out of here as fast as I can!

[SinReVi]

Jester (in battle) : Don't protect the people! And also don't escape with them! Save me of this Pike-guy!

Pike: You can kill me easily!

Ivy: Ark is the nicest guy I know.

Ark: Ivy is my best friend!

Genox: You know, I really have read to many story-books.

Doug: I finally remember how to spell the name of my wife Ileyda right!

Pike: It is totally safe to let these majesties explode!

[TheLostGamer]

Vanrose: I think I'll quit my job as mayor and beomce a hippie. Peace on!

Jean: Telmia? Sick? Well, she's done for. Let's move on.
Halley: Sure thing, dad!

Emmy: Ivy, you wuss!

Jester: I miss my teddy bear.

Sawma: I was going to fight you, but I'm kind of tired right now. How about a quick game of Scrabble instead?

Ileyda: Doug...if you die without me...
Doug: Don't say that! It's not going to happen!
Ileyda: But if it does...I'm going to marry Vanrose.

Diana: That's it, Rick! This engagement is over! I'm going to find someone who can protect me!
Ark: Pick me, pick me!
Vanrose: No way, I got dibs!

[AgentBlueMajesty]

Haha, these are getting good.

Yurald (with a machine gun): *** *******!! DIEEE!!

Shelly: Guns are bad.

Vanrose: So do you think the CIMA are trying to...
Ark: Trying to what?
Vanrose: I dunno, I was hoping you could finish that.

Jester: You can't have the purple majesty! It's MINE! All mine!

Ark: ... ...? ...!!

Pike: Argh, I be a pirate!

[SinReVi]

Jean and Eberle: Halley, Emmy, you can sacifice yourselves! We can live without you!

Emmy: Philis is soooooooooo bad in cooking!

Doug: I trust all Gate Guardians!

[TheLostGamer]

Vanrose: That's who Jester is fighting? Can he win?
Ark: Honestly...we don't know.
Vanrose: Whatever.

Jester: This dungeon is about to collapse, and I'm taking Pike with me!!
Ark: What do you mean...?
Jester: To the Prom, of course! I needed a date!

Pike: Jester is ALIVE!

Ivy: I bet there's something only you can do!
Halley: You mean like burp the alphabet?
Ivy: Um...never mind.

Genox: How about the part where you found the boy? Talk about boring!

Rooda Youth: This is Village of Rooda.
Ark: Hey, thanks for the info!

(The bridge collapses. Halley and Emmy fall down)
Ark: Halley...! Emmy...!!
Doug: Ah, it's no big deal. I didn't like those brats anyway.


Halley: A giant snowball...Awesome!
Emmy: Can we make a snowman?
Vanrose: Sure, let's make a snowman!

Ark: I'm used to being complimented.

Ark: Priest!
Yurald: I have a name, you know.

Halley: You know what I noticed?
Shelley: What?
Halley: CIMA don't seem to come as close as they usually do.
Shelley: What the hell are you talking about?
Halley: Uh, forget it.

Philis: Thank you so much, Ark.
Ark: I...was just doing my job, that's all.
Halley: Ark's getting red!
Ark: No I'm not...
Emmy: You're all red like a balloon!
Ark: Shut the %#@ up, Emmy!

Doug: I lost the daughter I loved because I believed you Gate Guardians!
Ark: ......
Doug: It was twenty years ago...the Gate Guardians challenged us villagers to a friendly game of Hide and Seek. My daughter said she had a new hiding spot where they'd never find her. And...they never did. So it's the Gate Guardians' fault that I lost my daughter!


Ivy: Am I interrupting a private conversation...?
Ark: Yes, go away.

Sawma: ...Huff...puff...I'm going to blow your house down!

Jean: Don't being any injuries to me. Let Eberle take care of them.

Telmia: Help me...!! (she collapses)
Eberle: Oh no! She's injured!
Telmia: (gets up) No, I just slipped.

Jean: No...I can't avail here...We can only save four of us! I want to save all of you instead!
Halley: Good plan, Dad!

Diana: If you were a man, you'd do less talking and more acting!
Rick: Sexist!

Ark: That's what they named this town. Ark & IVY Town.
Ivy: Um...why is Ivy capitalized?

[SinReVi]

Ileyda: I am going to win the beauty contest!

Pike *gets machine*
Ark: What the...? A machine? Why don't you go into your battleform?!
Pike: Because my real form is a cute little bunny with huge ears

Falcken: Waaah, I want a wig!

[bad guy]

Ark: MOMMY!!!!!!!!! THERE IS A CIMA OVER THERE!

CIMA: i'm a CIMA! (CIMA's can't talk!)


Rooda Youth: This is Village of Doom!

[AgentBlueMajesty]

Lol, LostGamer, some of yours are funny because they're true.
Ahem...

Elvira: I don't like bugs.

*Falcken turns into his battle form*
Ark: ya know, I thought you were pretty badass until a second ago.

Halley, Emmy, or Phillis: I stink at finding things.

[bad guy]

Pike: You are my best friend!
Jester: Frieeeeeeeeeeends....................
Ark: But what about me?
Pike: KILL YOURSELF!
Ark:
Pike and Jester: FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENDS...............................

[SinReVi]

Ivy: Oh look! Ark won the intelligence contest!

Genox: This is not my real hair, this is Falcken's hair!

[TheLostGamer]

Jester: This mine is way shallower than I thought it would be.

Falcken: I'm looking for the Plug.
Ark: You mean like hair plugs? Being bald isn't that bad, is it?

Ivy: Don't be fooled, Halley! Ark was shaking in his boots a second ago! So, if CIMA does appear, hide behind me, OK?
Ark: Don't lie to children!
Ivy: I'll lie to children whenever I want to!

Claude: You know, I'm not really an important character.

Pike: How many times have we battled like this, Jester?
Jester: Twice? I dunno. I wasn't keeping count.

Doug: Ileyda! What happened...Where's Falcken?...
Ark: Eberle saved you, dear! [note: this appeared in the game, but I think it belongs under the list of things the characters of CIMA would never say anyway.]

Rick: Hey, does this top hat make me look like Abraham Lincoln? Does it?
Diana: No.
Rick: Aw...

Ark: Ahhh...ah-choo!
Halley: What you caught a cold, Ark?
Ark: No, I'm allergic to CIMA.

Halley: Rick's not very brave, is he?
Rick: LIES! EAT PINK FIRE, INFIDEL!!! (shoots pink fire at Halley)
Halley: Ah! It's pink!

Esswood: Open up!
Guard: Um, okay...my mother never hugged me when I was a child...sometimes I still cry about that...
Esswood: I mean open the gate!
Guard: Oh.

Shelley: Keep teasing Ark, Diana!

Jester: I didn't realize this mine was so deep, Chief Esswood.
(time passes)
Jester: I didn't realize we had this much!
Esswood: Do you realize anything, dummy?

Emmy: You're a liar! You said we would all be together! Why did you lie to me?
Ivy: Because I'm secretly a CIMA.
Emmy: Oh.

14 pioneers of the first immigration group are heading west to the land they have never seen...
Ark: Hey, Ivy?
Ivy: Yes?
Ark: I just realized something. How can we be riding a train to the frontier? I mean, the town doesn't exist yet, but it already has a train station? That doesn't make sense!
Ivy: Do not question the plot.
Ark: And fourteen pioneers? Shouldn't it be thirteen pioneers and a train conductor? 'Cause Claude doesn't stay on the frontier.
Ivy: I said do not question the plot!

Jester: Never forget: we draw swords only to protect life! Otherwise we become the same as CIMA!
Ivy: Hey!

[bad guy]

Ark: always protect everybody?? even CIMA??

CIMA: ;D

Doug: D.K! Dougey Kong! D.K! Dougey Kong is here!

[SinReVi]

Ark: Yeah, it's the name of the town. Ark & IVY Town. Eveyone agreed with the name.
Ivy F: ...What a strange name!... What kind of idiot calls himself "Eveyone"?!